The Daily Adoptee | Musings of a Black Female Adoptee
In the middle of the night I got this crazy idea to publish mini books of my thoughts of life as an adoptee. So many times since I have started my writing journey three months ago, some one has reached out and said my writing helped them feel less alone, or helped the recognize something about themselves as an adoptee. I have even had adoptive parents comment how it gave them a perspective or situation they never thought of but can now recognize their own children are experiencing.
Writing about my adoption was born out of my need to find clarity in my experiences of being a woman of color who was adopted, but who experienced a traumatic adoption. The day after my 32nd birthday I realized I could no longer lie to myself. That not talking about my experiences was the easy way of not dealing with them. That I need to get to the root of why I was feeling stuck. Mentally and emotionally, professionally and personally.
Plucking out my thoughts on they keyboard has been a way for me to work my way out of my self imposed isolation and being intentional about connecting with people like me or who can relate to my experiences. Experiences that are layered with the nuances of womanhood, racism, mental health, culturalism and so many other themes that are relevant for the times we are in.
My vision for these musings is for them to be simple reads, that not only helps the reader expose themselves to an experience, but also to reflect on how it may play out in their daily lives and consciousness. This is where I believe the power in telling my story lies. Not only does it help me process and work through what I feel, but it allows others to do the same.
In all ways my intentions for my work is to be unapologetic. So many times we (people who are disfranchised and/or experience trauma) feel we have to apologize for our state of being. Like we know we aren’t "normal" and because we struggle with ways to voice what this means we just instead offer out our guilt for being unable to do so. Unapologetic articulation is necessary for clarity.
It is a place where judgement isn't necessary. One of my biggest fears in taking on this process is was facing myself. Looking in a mirror can be a daunting task when not looking in the mirror was a mainstay of your survival process. In an effort to shed everything comfortable for the sake of my growth for myself as a woman, mother, wife, businesswoman and any of the other hats I choose to wear, reflection is necessary. It needs to be a place of safety where you can feel what you need to without the interruption of "what ifs." Where you can feel your loss, your joy and your anger in all their righteousness and not hide them from the world as to not become the prototype of a stereotypical narrative.
This is MY narrative. My daily relationship with my own existence. Learning to love it and myself so I can love others more readily and freely. Thank you for coming on this journey.
The Daily Adoptee.